Tuesday, July 06, 2004

Truancy from Skool will not be Accepted

I went to Metal Skool again last night. I'll give you a review of last night's show. But this is the last time. After this, if you miss the show you can't live vicariously through me. It just doesn't do the band justice, and I'd be wasting my time on you shut-ins. Stay on the couch..see if I care. I'm going to rock.

I didn't get there in time for the opening bands, so find someone else to fill you in on those. Metal Skool kicked it off last night with Motley Crue's Talk Dirty to Me. From that moment on, anyone in the audience that hadn't seen them before was hooked. The lead guitarist took some time to show the audience his Stars and Stripes spandex pants. While it was related to the 4th of July, it seemed to be more of an excuse to show his ass to the ladies. Which is another thing about a Metal Skool show, if you come with your girlfriend, expect to go home alone as she'll end up with the band. This is a fact which should not surprise you when you're at the show as they flat out tell you, a lot. In fact, they pretty much rub it in your face. They can be arrogant though, because they're right. So don't say I didn't warn you. About halfway into the show they brought some schmoe up on stage to sing Bon Jovi's Shot through the Heart. He wasn't good. No one came to see some middle management ex-frat boy get up on stage. They came to see long hair, spandex catsuits, and a singer that can do a jumping splits. Luckily the singer kicked that dude off stage. Then he brought up Hal Sparks. Now Hal Sparks is hilarious, but can he rock? Yes, Hal Sparks can rock. He belted out some Skid Row and left me thinking there's nothing he can't do. I see Hal has a band. I haven't heard them, but after seeing him perform last night I'm definitely going to check it out. Then Metal Skool took it to a whole new level for me, and played Whitesnake's Here I Go Again. I love that effin' song. Half way through though they starting playing it in different genres of music. This convinced me that Here I Go Again could not only be an awesome rock song, but the best country, reggae, and Aggro song ever. If they were to record this cover in each way and release it to every radio station, they could hit number one on all of them. They also convinced a bunch of girls to dance on a stripper pole for an original song about strippers, and finished off the night with the crowd singing and headbanging along to Were Not Gonna Take It. They played more songs than I mention here, so you'll have to go next time to get the full effect. They also played a lot of different songs each time I go. I can't wait for the day I see them play Motley Crue'sKick Start My Heart. If you know them, tell them to play it.

I can't see how anyone wouldn't think this is awesome. So throw your backpack on, get on the bus, and get your ass to Skool.

Hal knows how to bring the Metal Yell. Posted by Hello


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