Don't Go Swimming in El Paso

In just four hours, El Paso's residents produce enough sweat to fill an Olympic swimming pool. Now just because they can, doesn't mean they will. I for one am not taking any chances, as the town's people may not enjoy being named the sweatiest folks in all the land. And no amount of free deoderant is going to cheer them up. However, cruel pranks against unsuspecting visitors may, so please: Stay out of the El Paso pools.