Thursday, June 10, 2004

Smarter than Your Average Physicist

Apparently Stew forgot to pass on my findings concerning anti-hydrogen from about six months ago to the rest of the physics community. I won't get into it here, but I basically disproved all of physics as we know it, by asking him to send me a jar of hydrogen. Now physicists are still working on the old model here, but they are on the search for the Higgs Boson. The Higgs Boson is coined, "the Holy Grail of Physics". So lets pretend that physics as they know it is still relevant. According to the Higgs theory, nothing in the Universe would have any mass without the Higgs particle. Nice theory Higgs. Because everything obviously does have mass, you've set yourself up to look right very nicely. Well, here's the Johnny No Thumbs Theory: "Higgs watches too much Sci-Fi channel, and needs to get off his mass." According to Higgs, the particle is associated with an energy field that permeates the entire universe. Sounds a lot like "the force" to me. I don't care that Higgs had this theory in 1960, Lucas had been working on this Star Wars thing since well before that. You'll just have to trust me on this one. So stop looking for the Higgs Boson. It doesn't exist. Stop putting money into this research, and start giving me money to build a new physics, as I've debunked the old one earlier this year. Stew, back me up on this. Prepare to join the Neutron Train kids, New Physics is coming to town.


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