And you shall all Revel in my Awesomeness!

At long last I have my thumbs back. Thus, I can no longer be called Johnny No Thumbs, and have selected the most appropriate name I could think of: Johnny Awesome. Because, I too, now rule at being awesome. Thanks to the skilled surgeons of Beverly Hills and the Animatronic geniuses of the film industry, I now have fully opposable thumbs. I took a cab to the doctor, just so I could hitchhike home. I told my crack team of specialist about this and they gave me the swassest hitchhiker's thumb you've ever seen. Now I can finally start writing songs on my guitar for my band. The swassest band in all the Land: AWESOME.
Oh man, let the rockin' begin.