Get a Swass Report Coffee Mug!

I designed a swass coffee mug. It's got a picture of an old dude on it enjoying his coffee, and under the picture it says "Old People Love Coffee." Old people do love coffee. You don't have to love coffee to get this mug though. You could put all sorts of different things in it, like booze.
Here's a discussion you'd probably have if you put booze in it.

Some dude: Hey, sweet mug.
You: Thanks.
Some dude: Old people do like coffee.
You: Yeah, Old people like coffee...BUT I LIKE BOOZE! (you chug the entire mug)
Some dude: You rock at drinking booze like old folks rock at drinking coffee and breaking their hips! Will you be my friend?
You: Maybe for five dollars, or more booze.
Some dude: Rad. (he runs off to get you money or booze.)

I can't promise that this will happen if you buy a mug, but I can promise that it won't happen if you don't.
Think about it.