Sir Chugs-A-Lot Scandal Revealed!

I have it from a top-level Swass Report Informant that Sir Chugs-A-Lot should really be called Sir Nurses-it. Turns out his chugging abilities are a sham. A facade if you will. Word on the street is good ol' Chugsy drinks out of those little stirring straws because he doesn't trust the glasses to be clean. Well I got news for you Miss Sippy, those straws are about as clean as Courtney Love.
Yes, Sir Poser, what do you think of that?
Better bust out the aloe, cause you just got burnt!
High Five!