We call ourselves AWESOME

Check out the new logo for my band AWESOME. We play hair metal and do kicks and jumps and have big guitar solos and drum solos. Basically we do everything that bands these days don't do. Standing still on stage is fine if you sing well, but since we don't, we put on a show. And dressing like everyone that comes to see you is fine if you don't want to be put upon a pedestal and be worshipped. Go ahead and do that. Let them worship us instead, because we believe in the days when rockstars existed and you could spot them from a mile away.
We have one small setback right now, but we problem solved it.
The problem is until we start playing bigger venues, we can't do pyrotechnics. We don't want to have a Great White moment. So until that day comes, we just videotape pyro and project it onto the stage.
Just to give you an idea of just how AWESOME we are, I'll tell you the title of our first single.
It's called "Devil in my Pants".
AWESOME, indeed.

We are the greatest band you've never heard.