Marty McFly, where have you taken me?

Last weekend I caught Children of the Beast at 14 Below in Santa Monica and I could have sworn that I traveled back in time. They're a early Motley Crue tribute band and they've got the looks that kill. They also sound good. But seriously, the pics I took when the smoke was on stage look like I was front row back at the Whisky in the early 80's.

They rock and the costumes are spot on. I highly reccommend checking them out. I've been really dissappointed with Metal Skool lately, so if you're thinking of checking them out go to a Children of the Beast show instead. All Metal Skool does lately is talk for an hour and fifty minutes and play like 10 minutes of music. These guys play straight up early crue. The big let down was the lack of a giant drum solo. If that would have happened, I think my head might have exploded (but in a good way). They played Dr. Feelgood which isn't early Crue and it got my excited that they might play Kickstart my Heart, but no matter how much we yelled for it they wouldn't play it. Maybe next time, or if they play Public Enemy #1 instead to stick with the early Crue thing, I'm cool with that too.

What do Jedi's do in their freetime?

In case you don't get a chance to go see Star Wars III this weekend, this video will do. Plus it's free.

(link via Screenhead)

I went to a Kelly Clarkson concert last night...

kelly

...and it was totally awesome.
So say what you will, but all y'all that think you're too good to see a KC concert are missing out on one of the best live shows out there. She sings a couple slow ones but for the most part the girl rocks out. She's got moxy. She played her American Idol song "A Moment like This" as a punk rock song and that sealed the deal. I love Kelly Clarkson and I'm not afraid to say it.
(Pic courtesy of my rad new digital camera.)

The Best Around

The Official Macchio Men are starting to shape up. Pretty soon we'll have enough to fill a dojo.

The Curious Case of Oprah and the Incredibly Shrinking Actresses

I figured out why all of these actresses are getting super skinny.
People say it's drugs or eating disorders, which may be the case. However for one to suddenly go into these activities to such extreme measures, there must be an underlying cause. Something that drives them to this.
I'm proud to say, I've discovered this cause.

I blame Oprah. That's right, Oprah.
We need to bring back fat oprah.
By getting skinny, Oprah has thrown off a delicate balance.
Whether she likes it or not, Oprah's name is associated with weight.
This means that she is a benchmark for others. They decide if they look skinny not by looking in a mirror, but by looking at Oprah. So if she's skinny, actresses have to be super skinny. An actress goes on Oprah and she'll think, "OMG! I'm the size of Oprah!" This traumatic event will cause them to take extreme measures to lose enough weight so that the proportion between them and Oprah is back to normal (roughly about 5 dress sizes). As you can see, this can be quite hazardous to this nation's young starlets.
So as soon as Oprah fattens up again, actresses can comfortably be a normal size and feel thin again.
If Oprah puts back on 10 lbs then Lohan can do the same.
So please Bring Back Fat Oprah before it's too late.
Hesitate one day and we may lose Lohan.
Hesitate two days, there goes Nicole Richie.
Three days...good bye Mary-Kate.
The list will go on and on, unless Oprah hits the Krispy Kremes.

Oprah takes a bite. Now it's your turn Lindsay and Nicole.

And if things weren't Chaotic enough already...

Here's a new shirt.

Federline T-shirt

Can you handle this shirt?

It had to happen sooner or later.

With all the little dogs being carried around in bags, it wasn't going to be to long before the dogs became the bags. I present you with the doggy bag (I don't really know the official name for it, and I'd rather not know.)

You either need a bigger purse or a smaller dog, sweetie.

Now your dog can be your favorite accessory!
Although you may want to get a few dogs, because we all know you don't carry a brown dog with black shoes.

This dog has a freakishly long neck. Or maybe it's get-up is doing something really awful to it's legs.

Federline Rules!
It all makes sense now. This whole Britney/Federline thing. And just at the right time because now I think I will be able to handle their truth.
You see, this whole time I thought K-Fed was a back-up dancer when they got together.
Well, it turns out that he was actually a Production Assistant for the tour. As anyone in the entertainment industry knows, a PA is just another word for Gopher.

So it turns out that Britney knew actually what she was doing.
She knew what she needed in a man and found one that fit the criteria.
She needed a man that was good at getting stuff for her and also be able to get her pregnant. Federline proved to have skills in both of those areas.
Why go for a man with a job? I mean she already loaded. Plus if he's working, who's going to go get stuff for her. Besides anyone with a decent job in the business doesn't know how to do a lot of things for themselves. Hencefore the necessity of production assistants.

Let's take a look at Federline showing off some of his PA skills: