Yo, I'll solve it.

Vanilla Ice has claimed his lost kangaroo(Bucky) and goat(Pancho).
Apparently Ice was out havin' a roni, so he wasn't able to claim the animals right away.

I'm Making the Best T-Shirt Ever.

And all of you should too.
So at participating Wal-marts, the Olsen Twins clothing line will have a make your own t-shirt design thing-a-ma-jig going on. It takes place on November 21st. I'm so there. I encourage you all to go as well. Go here for a listing of participating stores. I hope their lawyer is there.
So awesome.

if I looking for Kangaroo.

him name is Captain Kangaroo
I lost my kangaroo
love,
Vanilla Ice

Ps. I'll find my kangaroo
Who took my kangaroo
who found my kangaroo

(Story via Paul)

Unfortunately for the Captain, it looks like you have a history of giving up.

Things the internet taught me about Hoju

Since Hoju is one of my most consistent readers, as far as I can tell by the comments section, I've decided to do some research on this Hoju so that I may better understand my audience and perhaps even cater to it.

So here goes:

List of things the internet has taught me about Hoju:

1.Hoju is still a member but he has changed his name beacuse he wants to be treated like everyone else.
2.Hoju is into photography..
3.hoju is from australia.
4.Hoju is the little booger on the right side suckin' on the glass.
5.Hoju is on his way to the next world.
6.Hoju is on the loose.
7.Hoju is headed for a big vacation.

This list has been created using the scientific process of taking my favorite listing of Hoju from Googlism and then linking them to random links of the word Hoju off of Google.

After learning all of this about the Hoju, I'm still going to stick to writing about bands I see, Steve Guttenberg, Marmaduke, Rex Morgan MD, and general swassness.

The Contest is over and...

...Hollywood Mike Miranda makes his second dramatic exit of the day.

That's right, the correct answer was Hollywood Mike Miranda. The legendary BMX racer that wipes out twice on Helltrack and still manages to come in 3rd.

On that note, let me say that Rad is the greatest movie ever. If you don't believe me, check out the swass picture below.

Now go be ashamed of yourselves for not getting that right.

Greatest. Movie. Ever.

Contest Time!

The first person to correctly identify the man pictured below will win a swass prize.
The prize? An "old people love coffee" coffee mug. (from back when I had no thumbs)
Act fast!
Contest ends on 11/17/04 6pm Pacific Time.

Sweet 'stache, bro!

And you shall all Revel in my Awesomeness!

At long last I have my thumbs back. Thus, I can no longer be called Johnny No Thumbs, and have selected the most appropriate name I could think of: Johnny Awesome. Because, I too, now rule at being awesome. Thanks to the skilled surgeons of Beverly Hills and the Animatronic geniuses of the film industry, I now have fully opposable thumbs. I took a cab to the doctor, just so I could hitchhike home. I told my crack team of specialist about this and they gave me the swassest hitchhiker's thumb you've ever seen. Now I can finally start writing songs on my guitar for my band. The swassest band in all the Land: AWESOME.
Oh man, let the rockin' begin.

Stay Tuned

I swear I'm going to make an important update later today if all goes well.
Wish me luck. Right now I have to go to pre-op.

Too Swass For Love

It's 1983 all over again! And it will stay that way until Tommy, Nikki, and Ozzy say so.

A Review of Ted Leo, by popular demand.

and by that I mean CJ...and by that I mean 33% of my readership.
We missed The Lashes so I can't tell you if they're any good or not, but I do like the song I heard on KXLU the other day. The next band was Lucero. They were alright. I liked them enough that I made a mental note to see if they have any mp3s on their site so I can proceed to make a judgment on them, but not enough to go to the merch booth and pick up a record. My friend and I decided that they sounded like a mix of the Old 97's and Bruce Springsteen. Before Ted Leo went on stage we went outside and saw the actor dude from The Girl Next Door. So now I have a more respect for him and may even learn his name. Anyway, Ted Leo played a pretty even mix of songs from his last three records. This made me happy since I haven't had the cash to buy his latest. But all of his new songs were fricken awesome. They rocked hard, as you and my socks already knew from the previous post. He talked a lot about politics and was clearly upset about the outcome of the election. He also encouraged us all to keep fighting and we all let him know that we agreed with him by cheering loudly. He came out for one encore and the last song he played was from the new album and it is the reason I'm going straight to the record store and getting it. The two guys behind me obviously already had the record as they started jumping around wildly at the first guitar riff. The best part of a Ted Leo show is that Ted goes crazy. The man knows how to rock out, but it's emphasized by the fact that the pharmacists are super chill. They just play the bass and the drums and look at Ted while he's rockin' a swass solo. After the show we saw the actor dude again sitting against the building. He was either really drunk or he has no friends.
I didn't ask him which one it was.

If you wanted a song list, I couldn't really tell you since I know most of the songs as numbers from the CD's, but I'll give you a taste from the ones I remember in no particular order:

Where have all the rude boys gone
I'm a ghost
Biomusicology
Under the Hedge
Timorous Me

That's all I remember. Next time go see the show yourself. You can even bring the wife.

I Spent all Weekend Looking for my Socks.

Why did I do this, you ask?
Because Ted Leo rocked them off on Friday night at the El Rey, that's why.
And it couldn't have been too easy since I was wearing my swass new motorcycle boots. But he did. And as a result I spent my time this weekend trying to find them, but to no avail. I cannot describe in words how awesome Ted Leo is in concert, because I am not that good of a writer. So instead I suggest that you go out and see him when he makes his way to your town. If you don't want to get off your couch, you could always check out the DVD of one of his live performances. That's what the picture's of. I could have linked it for you or at least found the title of the DVD, but I have to find my socks first.

Same effect as a washing machine, only the process is a lot more fun.

A Letter to the President
Dear President Bush:

I hope you enjoy the opportunity to continue the downward spiral you've sent the United States on. Apparently the people don't care if they can't find a job, as long as gay people can't marry. Hell, they can always join the army if they're unemployed. Lord knows we're going to need to keep replenishing troops for the next four years.

P.S. I hate you.

Johnny